Home
by psychadelic
Summary: Jane's chest feels as though it's going to burst open with the amount of love that blooms in it and she finally understands the meaning of home isn't a place, but a feeling.


**Disclaimer** : I own nothing

 **A/N:** Wow its been a while since I wrote fiction and I will admit I'm slightly rusty at it. Also I'm used to writing NCIS and House MD cause I know those characters. This is completely new to me. This was also prompted by three words: Child, Photograph, Confessions

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Sunday Night Family Dinner ended a while ago and after seeing everyone out Jane decides to spend some time with Maura and Lilly. After searching the entire house for Maura's daughter, Jane finally finds her sitting on the porch, her favorite blanket draped around her, though not really keeping out the cold.

"Wanna tell me what you're doing out here in the cold, Lils"? Jane asks the six-year-old.

"Thinking," Lilly responds.

"Must be really important, if you came out here, it's freezing," Jane exclaims as she takes a seat next to Lilly, rubbing her hands together for a little warmth.

"I needed some quiet and I needed to get away from…" Lilly stops herself before the name falls from her mouth.

"Andrea?" Jane asks and Lilly nods in response.

"Lils," Jane sighs "Andrea is going to be a part of my life now, and I know it's new and scary for you, but you have to give her a chance, honey."

"I…" Lilly starts, "I can't Jane."

"Why?"

"Because," Lilly says, and Jane raises an eyebrow at the little girl.

"Because is not a reason, Lils," Jane tells her, gently.

It's getting colder now and, in her attempt, to rearrange her blanket something falls from the Lilly's grasp. Jane sees it on the ground and lifts the album, ready to return it to its owner. The title on it, however, grabs her attention and she pulls it toward her, setting it on her lap.

" _Lilly's Milestones"_ is the bold neat print.

Jane opens it and she feels the breath catch in her throat when she sees the first picture.

It's a picture of Maura's first ultrasound, the Doctor on the exam table, ultrasound wand pressed against her still flat abdomen, a fuzzy image on the machine, printed sonogram picture in Jane's one hand and both Jane and Maura smiling like they'd just won the lottery.

Jane turns the page and its another of Maura's ultrasound, this time just a hint of a belly. She goes through the pages, until another picture gets her attention. She doesn't know when it was taken or even who took it, but she remembers the feeling and looking at it now, she's grateful someone did.

They're standing in Maura's office, Jane's hands under Maura's, holding her now seventh month pregnant tummy, feeling Lilly move, for the first time. Jane's gaze is focused on her hands, but Maura is looking at Jane, and Jane feels her heart speed up with Maura's expression.

Another one that stands out is the day Lilly is born. When she had gone into labor, both Hope and Constance had volunteered to be with Maura, but the doctor had shaken her head and asked for Jane and no one else. Jane had held Maura's hand and encouraged her when it seemed the doctor was about to give up and when Lilly emitted the first shrill cry, both women had tears in their eyes. Unprompted, Jane had bent down and kissed Maura, on the lips, gentle but chaste.

"She's beautiful," the nurse had whispered, and the moment had been broken, brushed off and never spoken about again.

There's a few other photos of firsts for Lilly, first solid food, first sitting up, first steps, first tooth… Some from more recent times, first day at daycare, first day at pre-K, first day at kindergarten, first ballet recital, first soccer game.

"All of them have you in them Jane," Lilly's voice is so soft Jane almost misses it.

It takes a moment and then Jane gets it. Lilly is scared of losing her.

"Lils," Jane pulls the six-year-old to her, "I'm not going anywhere. We'll still do things together."

"What about Mom?" Lilly asks and this question surprises Jane.

"What about Maura?" she asks.

"Are you still going to hang out with her? Even though you hurt her every time you bring Andrea for family dinner?"

"Hurt her? Lils, honey, what are you talking about?" this is new information for Jane. Maura has never hinted so much as hurt or discomfort at Andrea's presence.

"Every time you leave after Sunday Family Dinner, mommy goes up to her room and cries. She thinks I don't know, but I can hear her, and it hurts me too when my mommy is hurting. She comes down after a while and we watch a movie then she tucks me into bed, promising me she's not sad and the next week will be better. And then the next week you bring Andrea over again…"

Jane is flabbergasted. For a six-year-old, Lilly is extremely observant, then again, she's Maura's kid, Jane didn't expect any less.

And now, she has to fix this.

Jane hands the book back to Lilly then stands up from her seated position and turns to go back into the house. She needs to talk to Maura.

"Jay," Lilly calls her, and Jane feels her chest expand. Lilly hasn't called her that in months… not since… Andrea.

"If you're going to make Mommy cry more, please don't go inside."

Jane feels her heart breaks a little.

Still she needs to talk to Maura, so she makes her way to Maura's bedroom and just as Lilly told her, Maura is lying on her bed, face down. Jane sees her shoulders jerk and that's the only giveaway to show the doctor is actually crying.

As she has done so many times before, Jane walks over to the bed and lays down next to Maura, prompting the other woman to lift her head. The surprise in her eyes is evident.

"Jane, I thought you left!" she says.

"I was about to, but I found Lilly sitting on the porch she, very reluctantly, I might add, told me about your 'After-Sunday-Dinner-Rituals'.

Jane sees Maura color, though she doesn't say anything.

"Why didn't you say something?" she asks Maura.

"I… You…" she starts then stops and gathers her thoughts. "You're happy with her Jane and I don't want to break that. If you're happy then –"

Jane cuts her off mid-sentence. "that's bullcrap Maura and you know it. The fact that we're having this conversation just proves it. Also, it's not what you think."

"Jane, you should go."

"What?"

"You should go, because if you don't I'm going to want to you to stay, forever, and you can't do that, so go. Please." Maura pleads.

"Maur?" Jane calls, gently. Maura's eyes close automatically at the way Jane says her name. She hasn't said it that way in a long time.

"Maura, are you sure about this, us, me?"

"Jane, I've never been more certain of anything in my life. I love you and I know you don't –"

This time her sentence is cut off by the press of Jane's lips on hers. The kiss is unhurried and soft and gentle and full of promise.

Even though she's loath to stop it, Maura pushes Jane away, "what about Andrea?"

"Maur," Jane starts but is interrupted by her ringing phone. They both see Andrea's name flashing on the screen.

A short conversation follows and when Jane returns, she smiles at Maura. "Well Andrea was more understanding than I thought. She also asked me when I was going to get my head outta my ass and see that I had everything right in front of me."

"Now, where were we?" Jane asks but is interrupted when Lilly jumps onto the bed with them, settling between Jane and Maura.

"Hi Mommy," she greets Maura. "Mama," she turns to Jane and Jane sees hint of a smile on the Lilly's lips.

Jane's chest feels as though it's going to burst open with the amount of love that blooms in it and she finally understands the meaning of home isn't a place, but a feeling.

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 **A/N 2** : Hope you guys liked it. Let me know.  
Reviews are love


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